Breaking Cycles

Breaking cycles is so hard to do

Especially when they’re harmful for you

As I take a look around, all that I see

It’s right there, within me

Learning what I needed to let go

Started with the question, “where do I want to grow?”

Caught in a cycle of disbelief

I needed to learn how to trust me

Stuck in a cycle of playing small

I needed to figure out what helped me stand tall

Desperate for love that only came with crumbs

I needed to heal the hurt that made me feel numb

Addicted to substances to fill the void

I quit cold turkey so I could feel joy

Patterns learned from early on

A lot of it so deep, I could’ve easily been a con

My distrust of others

Started with my dearest mother

Carried burdens that weren’t even mine

Forced me to face decades of trauma up the family line

Facing myself was the toughest of all

But I wasn’t willing to continue the fall

Gave everything up to save my life

Including no longer being a wife

Controlling, deceiving, out for self-gain

That was no longer a game I wanted to play

Again found my faith and leaned on God

These patterns indeed were so hard to spot

Therapy, meditation, and walking outside

Is only part of my self-care guide

The time spent alone was another part of my healing

Got tired of people around me using and stealing

So fed up with my circles and their lies

I found my strength and undid those zip ties

Recognized that I always did love to dance

Focused on that so the predators couldn’t prance

Drinking more water, getting good sleep and eating well

Is an old cycle worth breaking so my body doesn’t swell

Treating myself right isn’t just kind

I learned on my own that it’s part of what makes a healthy mind

Whatever demons you may have to slay

Is worth it in the end, each and every way

To live a life filled with peace and ease

Costs a cycle of breaking generational disease

Not sure how to get through and struggling with self-doubt

Breaking cycles, I found, is the only way out.