Black and White – Dark and Light
How is this my life?
This hurts so bad.
I’ve been threatened.
I’ve been harassed.
I’ve been stalked.
By someone who supposedly loved me.
To be clear, this is NOT love.
Or, it’s not the love that I want and desire.
This is so hard.
Never in a million years did I think I would be here.
I did not think this would be my life.
I went to the party and had a great time.
But I had no partner.
I had no one to take me home.
Only a friend’s partner telling me to get home safe.
I even missed a train. I never do that. I was completely off my time.
I looked so beautiful.
I’m a beautiful soul.
I received so many compliments on my outfit and my nails that day.
But he never wanted to be a true partner with me.
My ex never went downtown.
I didn’t ever want to bring him to these parties.
He was embarrassing.
I’m just sad.
Sad this is my life.
I wanted a beautiful life.
I tried to build a beautiful life, with someone who was only stealing from me.
I hide it so well. I hid it so well.
I’m so tired of hiding.
I just want to be happy.
Happy in my own skin and happy with my life.
I deserve that.
I’m so far out of the city.
How did I let my life get so far away from what I love?
I’m so sad.
I guess it’s just me and God now.
I’ve tried so hard to keep the faith and I’m just not having a great day.
Everything feels like it’s working against me.
They say when that happens, the blessing is close to landing.
I don’t know who he is.
I know who I am.
I feel like I have nothing going for me.
I guess it’s time to start writing the book.
What else have I got to lose?
I don’t even know where to begin.
I feel so alone in this world.
The despair is real.
But I look around and know I’m not alone.
I can’t be.
I have God, my angels, my ancestors, and my chosen family.
Even on the hardest days, they lift me up.
One foot in front of the other, keep walking.
I was even reminded by a stranger that, “it gets better.”
There is no light without the dark.
Keep it moving, it doesn’t need to be so black and white.
