Fated

I cried.

I raged.

I became numb to survive.

Didn’t even want to be alive.

That’s the story,

Morning glory.

The one no one talks about,

It’s not one to share for clout.

The thoughts, they come,

They pick at me until I bleed.

Not knowing that everything I need,

Is right there, inside me.

Couldn’t miss the pattern,

It hit me in the head.

From one narcissistic “mother”

To another. I even had a brother.

Caught her in a lie,

It’s what she knows to get by.

Caught her looking in the mirror,

If it don’t look right, there’s a furor.

Externally perfect,

Inside, the chaos is perilous.

It doesn’t matter what it takes,

As long as no one knows the stakes.

One question,

Three answers,

Depending on the day.

And you want me to stay?

Not too deep now,

Wouldn’t want her having a cow.

As unlike a fine wine as they come,

She only makes people want to run.

Instead of getting better with age,

You never know when she’s gonna rage.

It’s getting worse,

All that medication in her purse.

Another cycle, continuous loop,

She’s a soul separator.

But what I wanna know is

How do you put yourself back together?

There’s a feeling,

That I need healing.

Something isn’t right,

I know, ‘cuz I’m missing my light.

Her nails are glistening,

But she’s not listening.

Instead she’s preoccupied,

With all the karmic ties

Following her throughout all time.

Don’t worry though,

Everywhere she goes,

What she sees is a dime.

Left to her by the universe,

To hell with the curse.

What we’re doing here,

Is breaking the cycle of fear.

Stepping out on my own,

The path ahead for me is shown,

Because each step that I take,

Has only grown

Into something larger than me.

So that we all can see,

What it means,

To be healing and free.

Not a destination,

But a journey for life.

I don’t want to live,

With all of the strife.

After the darkness comes the light,

Where peace reigns.

But when two parts become one,

Those karmics start to strain.

Holding on with all their might,

They don’t want to lose this fight.

Demons may have won the battle,

But she’s as strong as a herd of cattle.

I’m winning this war,

By going deep into the core,

Figuring out, piece by piece,

What more

Needs to be excavated,

They’ll label it as x-rated.

Hold your breath, don’t get baited.

Before their stars are faded.

What goes around comes around,

Even with them under ground.

When all you dish is disrespect,

What do you actually expect?

Moving on from my past,

And saving the best for last.

No worries, I’ll take that.

Standing at the plate, I’ve got my bat.

Looking high into the sky,

Don’t want life to pass me by.

Before I hit that home run,

Straight into the sun.